We’ve found the reason to go West: Great martinis.

review and photos by Peter Lewis

There is an absolute gem of a restaurant right in the middle of Fort Smith.

Because it is such an unassuming establishment, it is one many pass every day without a second thought. This is a mistake that should be rectified. Like Mr. Roosevelt and his maxim, this unpretentious building hides a devastating stick: amazing food.

‘THE GUAD’
It is located in a small white building on the south side of Rogers Avenue that for many years was the home of Porta’s BBQ. In fact, when referencing the restaurant I invariably have to say, “It’s where Porta’s used to be.” It was only recently that their hours extended into the evening.

My own love affair with the people and food at Taqueria la Guadalupana began almost a year ago. On one of my many trips past the restaurant, I finally had the time and inclination to stop for food. Fresh from a stint abroad, I was itching for Mexican food.  My itch was certainly scratched. 

A meal at Taqueria la Guadalupana is like having a meal in your mother’s kitchen. It’s impersonal, the people are friendly, and the food is made with genuine love and care — a quality rarely seen in our age of mass produced chain slop. Furthering that sense of inclusion is the cozy interior. Offhand I would say it could seat around 20 people, and the 20 would be snug. Also, Taqueria la Guadalupana is a cash-only enterprise. Please take that into consideration before dining.

(I must admit, I am biased. I eat at “The Guad” at least once a week, if not more, and am greeted by name when I enter. While that might make me a somewhat biased reviewer, it also makes me an experienced and savvy “suggester.”)

First, I suggest you order a beverage. Those who follow this column will know I have a penchant for agua frescas. There are always a few large jugs of fresh juice on hand to quench your powerful thirst. I always lean towards the horchata (cinnamon spiced rice-milk) because it’s the perfect liquid to dampen any spicy food you might devour.

Next, I suggest you listen to your growling stomach and order some food. What to order always depends on the level of adventure you seek on your Friday evening. There are special plates featured each day and you would not be remiss to order anything you see on the menu. For those bold enough, try the tacos de cabeza. If you paid attention in Spanish class, you’ll quickly realize these are “head tacos.” Topped with cilantro and onion, these amazingly tender and tasty tacos are created by slowly cooking the meat from the head of the cow. To give an indication of the taste to expect, a dear friend, upon his first taste, remarked that it was strikingly similar to his grandmother’s roast beef. Three tacos with rice, beans, and salad can be had for for about $6-$7.

If you would prefer to stay a bit more timid in your choice of dinner, you cannot go wrong with a simple burrito. With a variety of meat styles from which to choose, the burritos are magnificent in both heft and taste. Furthermore, they are remarkably cheap despite their size ($4). My own suggestion would be the burrito carnitas (pan-fried pork). 

I can’t promise you will find transcendence at Taqueria la Guadalupana, but I can promise the food will be great, the smiles genuine, and that you’ll soon come back for more. 

While I could continue ad nauseam about the different food to be enjoyed courtesy of the finest Zacatecano chef to grace the River Valley, we must soldier forward with our evening.

One must be cognizant that the annual Pub Crawl will occur Saturday, March 14, so it is perhaps best not to partake too fervently in the night’s delights. I’d never be one to suggest taking a night off, just be prudent in your choices. 

That said, the most prudent choice you could make for the evening is a visit to Bombay Billiards at 509 Garrison. Just cruise down the avenue until you see the “Ranch Gallery Furniture” sign. Beneath the misnomer you’ll find a particularly well appointed bar with some serious tunes courtesy of the Young Grammarians. The show is set to kick off at 9 p.m. and last until 1 a.m. With cover tunes ranging the modern rock realm, from Radiohead to Incubus, I’ve been assured that these syntax loving rockers always bring the party. Be sure to dot your i’s and cross your t’s so you can make it out to the show.

9 out of 10 on the Petermeter scale of Adventure

GO WEST, GEORGE
If burgers and fries seem to be in the trusty tarot cards, you would be wise to visit the friendly folks at George’s Restaurant. Located at 2120 Grand Ave., this family owned establishment has become a Fort Smith landmark. It has attained its status as a restaurant icon in the River Valley through the tried and true method of serving great food in a relaxed and friendly setting.

When visiting George’s, you get a cheeseburger and fries. Like the acclaimed film declared, “it is written.” And since winter’s grip seems to be easing its hold over us, it is time to start preparing ourselves for warmer days. In anticipation of that glorious event known as summer, might I suggest scaling back to a single patty when ordering your bacon cheeseburger ($5.25)? We must drop the winter coat that has developed around our mid section. It’s a gradual process that must be taken one patty at a time. After all, your burger will be accompanied by a heaping mound of hand-cut French fries. They are a palate pleaser for sure.

If by some unfortunate circumstance you are allergic to the wonders of beef, hope abounds. There are two wonderful options if you’re so inclined. First, there is the Greek Salad ($5.65). It is a journey to another land via feta, olives, spices and capers. This Mediterranean treat is sure to satisfy the most fickle of diners. A final option, meeting in the middle between cow and lettuce, is the pocket turkey ($5.45). This sandwich of shaved turkey, lettuce, tomato, and mayo is a triumph of subtle simplicity. Just be sure to wash it all down with a few cold bottles of MGD.

George and Tammy told us their version of “steak and martinis” were “draft beer and wienies.” Though you won’t be jetting anywhere, you’ll easily be able handle the martini part of their lyric.

At the corner of 2nd & North A streets, this upscale joint offers drinks you’d see Sinatra sipping, not those that Cash could chug. So, despite offering both a full bar and a varied beer selection, sampling one of the signature martinis at 21 West End is a must. Even if you aren’t suffering from scurvy, I’d suggest the delicious Key Lime Martini. At 21 West, a liquid dessert is a wonderful antidote to the rising moon. Dress accordingly though. Despite the rough economy, it is rumored that the management is still not particularly hesitant to turn away those hombres failing to sport a collared shirt.   

6 out of 10 on the Petermeter scale of adventure

Know your Peter
Born and raised in Fort Smith, Peter Lewis is a graduate of the University of Texas. Prior to returning to the Fort Smith area, Peter spent the a year as a bartender living abroad and traveling. His ex-girlfriends have been known to claim that with Peter, every hour seems like a day, every day is like a year, and every week is an eternity.

Contact Peter at [email protected]