Adam & Eats: Hollywood Stars Pizza

by The City Wire staff ([email protected]) 64 views 

 

Editor’s note: Adam Brandt is a graduate from the Cobra Kai School of Culinary Callousness, where he received their highest award, the Red Apron of Merciless Eating. Aside from eating and talking about eating, he makes pots, paintings, prints, books, photographs, and generally, a big mess. He has been the studio assistant at Mudpuppy Pottery for almost nine years and is attending a local university in a desperate attempt to earn a biology degree.

Hollywood Stars Pizza is a place that I’ve been meaning to eat at for a while now. My thinking behind this was a simple one: I like pizza. So, with that in mind, I finally made my way to the east side of the Fort and sat down for what I was hoping to be a great pizza experience. But, just like many an over-advertised summer block buster, I was left feeling a little let down.

Located next to, and frighteningly close to, Sport Clips (across from Lowe’s) is Hollywood Stars Pizza. I have to say that they have taken the whole movie-theme dining experience to the limits. It is movie theater dark in there, to begin with. (My photo of the food is a prime example of this.) The walls are lined with film paraphernalia and the check stand resembles that of a theater’s concession stand. The waitstaff seemed to have the same jaded, malcontent but benign, I’d-rather-be-on-the-Internet-than-at-work attitude toward service as you would find at your local theater. Overall, it feels just like going to the movies.

Now we come to the part of the story where our hero, or, as it is in some of your minds, our villain, confronts the actual pizza at this pizza restaurant. I am not going to say the pizza is bad. In fact, the pizza is quite tasty. The only problem was that all of it tasted the same. It was totally indistinguishable from pizza to pizza. I could look and tell I was eating a slice of “combo,” but as far as flavor goes, it tasted the same as any of the variety of meat covered pizzas, which I could not tell you what they were.

If you like your pizza to taste like meat, bread, and tomato sauce, and to be buried in mozzarella, then Hollywood Stars Pizza is the place for you. It is ideal for taking your kids to dinner. Not only does Hollywood Stars Pizza offer you wonderfully cheesy meat flavored pizza, but they will distract you from your mediocre food by showing smash hits movies on giant flat screen televisions perfectly placed so that you have no choice but to stare at them. Brilliant.

I have heard that if you order a pizza, rather than eating at the buffet, you will a) know what you are getting and b) be incredibly more pleased with your dining experience. I guess that is about par for the course with buffets though. When has an item on a buffet ever beaten the same item prepared on the spot? Rarely. Of course, the question is really whether or not a pizza, let’s say a sausage pizza, is worth the $8.99 for a fresh pizza or the $5 for the all-you-can-jam-in-your-belly warmed up under a heat lamp pizza.

I guess it is just a matter of preference. You can make up your own mind. I’ve made up my mind and from here on out I’m eating pizza elsewhere. Whatever you personally decide, well, that’s your business. I’ll sleep comfortably either way. I will also sleep comfortably knowing that my friend “Anonymous Pickel Eater” has just found a new favorite pizza restaurant.

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Adam also has this thing called Sandwich Control.