Ouch. Peter sports his first sour face

Editor’s note: Peter Lewis, who has authored “The Friday Feast” since November, is reviewing 30 locally-owned and/or operated restaurants across five categories: American, Asian, BBQ, Mexican and Date (establishments to impress your date, spouse or both). Each Wednesday through late August, The City Wire will post Lewis’ review of two restaurants. That’s a review of 30 restaurants in 16 weeks for those keeping score at home.

Week 1: Taqueria la Guadalupana, and Las Americas Too
Week 2: The Cuban Grill and El Rodeo
Week 3: El Milagro and Restaurante Salvadoreno Norita
Week 4: Green Papaya and Pho Vietnam
Week 5: Fried Rice and Pho King
Week 6: Diamond Head 2 and Tran’s
Week 7: Yellow Umbrella and Goodson’s
Week 8: Red Rooster and Boom-A-Rang
Week 9: Lewis’ Family Restaurant and Hamburger Barn
Week 10: Big Al’s and Al’s Barbecue

review by Peter Lewis

While last week featured a tête-à-tête between two vastly different Al’s, this week we’re off to visit two more barbecue restaurants: Jerry Neel’s and Neumeier’s Rib Room. It is prudent to note that while these are two rather different establishments, our judgments are on the food and does not factor in extraneous items like parking, the presence of liquor, or listening to live music.

NEUMEIER’S RIB ROOM
To begin, we’ll focus on Neumeier’s Rib Room. This barbecue establishment is located at 817 Garrison Ave., amidst the glories of downtown Fort Smith. Beyond the menu items, Neumeier’s also has a full bar and regularly features live music each evening. And unless you’ve been avoiding the beer joints, you should know that a recent renovation has left the establishment with one of the finest patio venues in the state.

All of this is well and good, but it’s the food we’re all concerned about. Food has always been our concern. It’s primal. And to sate those urges, there is nothing more primal than chowing down on a full rack of pork ribs. At $20.99 a rack, it’s certainly an expensive, though tasty, way to get in touch with that neolithic beast living inside you. The ribs in question are pork loin back ribs, also popularly known as baby back ribs. This particular type is taken from the top of the ribcage and just below the loin muscle on a pig. They are notable in that they are meatier (though not always as tender, due to the lower fat content) than the spare ribs. Since we are communing with our primal urges, the more meat the better, right?

Neumeier’s serves their ribs either wet or dry. For the uninitiated, a choice of wet and one would find a plate of ribs slathered in sauce. A choice of dry on the other hand and one would find their ribs covered in a flaky melange of ground spices. I’ve never been one for messes and much prefer the dry to the wet. I don’t care what might have worked for Mr. McGraw, it’s quite tough to woo a woman with a barbecue stained shirt. The dry rub tastes better anyways.

While I have a soft spot in my heart for the ribs at Neumeier’s, I found the remainder of the entrees to be a bit average with one exception: the pulled pork. It was quite pleasant ($9.99 for a plate w/two sides). In addition to chicken, there are also tamales available at Neumeier’s, though they are not made in house.

As for the side items, there are the usual cast of characters: beans, cole slaw, French fries, and creamy hashbrowns. While it certainly could have been the beverages affecting my senses, I did enjoy the fries quite a bit. In a way, our opinions are always gently molded by our surroundings and mindset in any restaurant experience. So, while it is easy to let a surly waitress alter a mindset enough to render oneself incapable of deriving pleasure from a meal, it is just as easy to let good times under a warm night sky increase the pleasure of chowing down on a rack of ribs. That dry rub is a wonder, but the setting is one as well.

JERRY NEEL’S
While I could meander on in a discourse of food and mindset, I must take a hard right turn and begin a new adventure in another direction. The path of this adventure leads us to Jerry Neel’s at 1823 Phoenix Ave.

Though I had visited Jerry Neel’s on various occasions in the past, I had not been in many, many years. All my previous experiences had not been overtly bad, but they certainly hadn’t been positive either. Since barbecue was one of the featured food genres I was scheduled to write about, I figured I would give the restaurant another chance. There is always the possibility that previous wrongs could have since been righted. Furthermore, there was also the chance that I had misremembered my previous experiences.

With hopeful expectation I went back. It was, unfortunately, a disaster from the start.

I am a curious fellow and ask questions incessantly. I will leave the judgment of whether this disposition is a blessing to you. The particular girl to whom I was placing my inquiries about menu items was less than happy with me and I would venture to say that she thought my inquisitiveness was a curse. She was violently terse, less than helpful, and overall seemed a rather unhappy soul.

Excuse me for a second: (Steps on soap box) When one is in the service industry — and I’ve spent many years in it — one is required to put up with a lot. Whether a customer is pompous or pleasant, ideal or idiotic, one is required to continue to perform one’s job with an air of pleasantness. While this isn’t true in all countries, it is how things operate here in America. One is there to be of service to the patrons, the name of the industry says it all. Even if cracking a fake smile is impossible, an attempt should at least be made not to soak one’s words with thinly veiled displeasure. It’s rather unseemly to behave like a petulant child. (Steps off soap box) Phew, I feel better, thanks.

While I was certainly displeased with the level of service I received at Jerry Neel’s, I tactfully bit my tongue. Though already soured, I still had hopes (vain, as it turns out) that the meal would be tasty. Unfortunately, that adjective was nowhere close to what was supposed to pass as “food.” The barbecue chicken was unbearably dry, the sauces average at best, and the beans tasted like they came straight from a can. There is a Chinese proverb that warns, “Do not be over self-confident with your first impression of people.” While I think those are certainly wise words, I’m not sure the sentiments hold true for restaurants. One horrific visit was more than enough.

An explainer note from Peter
Having such cultural diversity within easy reach is one of the many dining pleasures in the River Valley. As we continue to explore the different cooking styles throughout the area, I hope it will spur you into trying something new. Broadening horizons is as old as time itself.

You can reach Peter at [email protected]