Big Screen Peter: 2011 releases that sucked

There were 46 (new) movies reviewed this year for The City Wire. Not all of them came close to being worth the price of admission. And this septet marks the nadir, the absolute pit of moviegoing hell. If you paid for a ticket and didn't regret your decision, you're either above the economic woes of this land or have series cranial issues.  Maybe both.

With no further ado, here they are, The Seven Cinematic Sins of Twenty Eleven

• Sucker Punch
Things didn't get much worse than Sucker Punch, Zack Snyder's empty, violence fueled candy porn.  It was a mindless exploitation fantasy without any true reward. If it offered much in the way of redemption, it was the stunning aesthetics and the kinkily dressed girls.

• The Sitter
Speaking of mindless, this was the lowest of the comedic lows for 2011. The funny lines the movie did have were given away, generally out of context, in the previews. Everything fell flat. The story, the humor. Just an out and out awful movie.

• Larry Crowne
What happened to Tom Hanks? Has he really slipped so low as to purvey this sort of mindless inanity? Granted, most of his hugely popular roles were never exactly hard hitting. But there is a Grand Canyon between silly pop confections like You've Got Mail and this gaping cesspit.

• Cowboys & Aliens
I imagine the premise — Aliens invading the old west — seemed like a great idea after a few pulls on a overflowing blunt, but the execution left a lot to be desired. It was the grand exercise in illogical filmmaking. Which is saying a lot considering the fantastic plot. Even the Bond beauty Daniel Craig and the gruff Old Man Ford can't save this sinking ship.

• Sanctum
Nothing beats a little cinematic misogyny with your cavernous adventure, right? Wrong. Plenty of things do. This overwrought stinker was just an excuse to play around with 3D technology. We're all victims. Blame Avatar.

• Footloose
Even Craig Brewer couldn't save this doomed remake. Plenty of dancing, but not much else to wow audiences. Over the top doesn't even begin to describe this hyper-powered dance romp.

• The Three Musketeers
Alexandre Dumas probably wouldn't recognize his bastardized Musketeers. Of course, no one really would without the title and the constant script reminders. These bad boys have more in common with the men of Marvel than they do 17th century men-at-arms. The concept is a stretch, but not an inherent misstep. The execution though? Pardonnez mon francais, mais il est de la merde pure.

Dishonorable Discharges: The Mechanic, Just Go With It, Bad Teacher

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