Adam & Eats: Calico County

Editor’s note: Adam Brandt is a graduate from the Cobra Kai School of Culinary Callousness, where he received their highest award, the Red Apron of Merciless Eating. Aside from eating and talking about eating, he makes pots, paintings, prints, books, photographs, and generally, a big mess. He has been the studio assistant at Mudpuppy Pottery for almost nine years and is attending a local university in a desperate attempt to earn a biology degree.

This is a rough time of the year. It isn’t winter anymore, but it’s not summer yet either. So, the weather is being totally insane. Tax time is behind us and we are just now starting to recover from that fiasco, when the end of the school year slaps us right in the face.

I don’t know about you, but I need some comfort food. That is why this week I’ve decided to visit a staple of the Fort Smith food scene.

Located a little ways off of Rogers Avenue, on South 56th Street, is the famous Calico County. I would recommend a time to go when it isn’t busy, if such a time of day actually existed. They are always busy, but that is a very good thing. It is a sign of good food, good friends, and good service.

And talk about southern kitsch, Calico County must have bought it wholesale. The walls are lined with metal signs, Mason jars, old pots and pans, various antique appliances, and much, much more. Heck, even most of the lighting in the place is antique streetlights.

Needless to say, the place is chock-a-block full of charm. In addition to the kooky southern décor, the waitstaff rock. Maybe they are so used to the patrons staring at the walls more than the menu, but they never seem to mind when you still haven’t made up your mind even though you’ve been there for half an hour.

The food is a creature all unto itself.

Calico County offers some of the best home-style southern food around. Their chicken fried steak is the steak by which I grade all others. It is the answer key to the chicken fried steak exam. The burgers also fall in the top 10 in the area.

Their French dip is solidly good, but totally different than Ed Walker’s. Calico County uses a different cut of beef and slow cooks it in a Crock pot for their French dip filling making the overall effect much more drippy.

Now, side dishes make the meal and Calico County doesn’t mess around when it comes to sides. I can’t say that I have ever experienced a bad side dish there. Mediocre occasionally, but I’ve never had a bad one. The mashed potatoes are spectacular with either of the gravies, white or brown. I guess gravy is something that should be treated like wine. There are meals where brown gravy is appropriate and meals where white (peppered) gravy is called for. Chicken fried steak calls for the white gravy; whereas pot roast would require the brown gravy. It is very complicated. I don’t think now is the time for the entirety of that discussion, though.

The cole slaw has a hint of horseradish in it, which gives it an extra zing making it both sinus-clearing and refreshing. I can’t think of a more savory side dish than their baked squash. They do something to it, that I can’t quite put my finger on, but it makes it simply wonderful.

And who can resist their “wets”? I mean what is better than French fries? Answer: French fries covered in gravy. I think the only thing that could top that, and probably give you a heart attack faster, would be if you added bacon and jalapenos. Which can be arranged I’m sure.

If I were to fail to talk about their famous cinnamon rolls, someone would drag me into the street and shoot me. Calico County is well known for their cinnamon rolls. These pastries are so well liked that they had to start a club for, what I like to call, the roll-a-holics. These delicious homemade cinnamon buns have been honed to perfection over the years. They have just the right amount of sweet and spicy to put a big smile on your face.

If you have never eaten at Calico County I want you to stop reading this and go to your room for five minutes to consider the error of your ways. Your five-minute timeout is over, I want you to go eat there.

Until next week, good eating to you and yours.

Feedback
When he’s not beating his eggs, Adam makes time to respond to e-mails that get past his hard-ass spam filter. You can try to reach him at [email protected]

Adam also has this thing called Sandwich Control.