Adam & Eats: Sultan Mediterranean Grill and Pizzeria

Editor’s note: Adam Brandt is a graduate from the Cobra Kai School of Culinary Callousness, where he received their highest award, the Red Apron of Merciless Eating. Aside from eating and talking about eating, he makes pots, paintings, prints, books, photographs, and generally, a big mess. He has been the studio assistant at Mudpuppy Pottery for almost nine years and is attending a local university in a desperate attempt to earn a biology degree.

In a desperate attempt to stave off the cold, for this week’s review we will keep warmly in the arms of the Mediterranean Sea. Normally, keeping in the same vein, as far as weekly reviews go, is frowned upon by readers like you. But this week, I felt it important to do a review of a restaurant that might not be here long, if they don’t get their act together.

Located in what was once the legendary Gregorio’s (a single tear rolls down my cheek) is the brand spanking new Sultan Mediterranean Grill and Pizzeria. You haven’t even eaten there and already you’ve had a mouthful.

When they say Mediterranean, they mean it. The place is Spartan. There are very few decorations, a handful of tables, a makeshift checkout stand, and unflattering lighting. The place looks like they are still figuring out what they are doing when it comes to opening a restaurant.

This wouldn’t be a big deal, if it had not just been opened by Mohammed Raache, the restaurateur that brought us Bella Italia and Silk Road. He knows how to run a restaurant. It is understandable that he has other, more pressing things going on in his life, but one has to question his judgment in opening up another restaurant that is obviously not ready for customers.

Now let’s get to the nitty-gritty of the food. The menu suffers from a little ethnic schizophrenia. They offer classic Mediterranean items such as hummus (ground chick peas), baba ghanouj (pureed baked eggplant), and falafel (deep fried chick pea cakes), which were all stellar, right along side fried chicken wings, onion rings, cheese sticks, and French fries, which were par at best.

When will restaurants learn? Stick to what you know and don’t pander to the clientele that are going to judge a restaurant by its name and never set foot in the place. In addition to the off-putting American fare, the kitchen seems to be suffering from a meltdown in the timing department. My most recent meal took almost an hour to hit the table and parts of the various dishes were cold by the time they got there. Had I ordered the revenge platter, it would be understandable, but alas, hot kabobs served on cold rice made my spirits sink faster than the Titanic.

The separate items obviously did not hit the plate at the same time. As far as the kebobs themselves were concerned the beef kabobs were like eating a piece of tire that was shed off a semi-truck on the interstate. The chicken kabobs (Shish Tawook on the menu) on the other hand were perfectly seasoned and tender.  And the sirloin kabobs (Kafta on the menu) almost melt in your mouth with just the right amount of smoky savory flavors.

Now, we know how much love I have for gyros, so it comes as no great surprise that I tried them. The twang that Nadia’s Gyros is missing was there, but the meat seemed under-seasoned and overcooked. Plus, it wasn’t nearly messy enough. When eating gyros, like barbeque ribs, it should be almost mandatory to wear a bib, preferably a large plastic one with a lobster on it.

Let’s talk about the pizza, while we’re at it. The pizza was a home run. The perfectly crispy crust, the right amount of sauce, the melty cheese, and the juicy meaty bits combine in your mouth for a bite of pure Heaven. Each slice was going, going, gone.

Overall, if I were to give any advise to Momo, I would suggest ditching the burgers and fries, and opt instead for pushing the pizza and gyros more. The customers came for Mediterranean food dammit, so let ‘em have it.

Also, fine-tune that kitchen crew. To you, the reader, I would suggest waiting a few weeks before heading over to Sultan’s. If they are still around, they should have their act together by then and you’re sure walk away with a full belly and a smile on your face.

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Adam also has this thing called Sandwich Control.