Adam & Eats: Phoenix Drive-in

Editor’s note: Adam Brandt is a graduate from the Cobra Kai School of Culinary Callousness, where he received their highest award, the Red Apron of Merciless Eating. Aside from eating and talking about eating, he makes pots, paintings, prints, books, photographs, and generally, a big mess. He has been the studio assistant at Mudpuppy Pottery for 10 years and is attending a local university in a desperate attempt to earn a biology degree.

This week we visit our most bizarre and possibly most terrifying restaurant. What this place lacks in creature comforts, it makes up for in a general sense of shadiness. If you can separate yourself from thoughts of possibly being choked to death with a guitar string, you’ll find the food isn’t half bad.

Located far west on Phoenix Avenue, in was until the past few years a Sonic, is the new home of the Phoenix Drive-In. Other than an orange paint job and new menus, the place pretty much still looks like the Sonic of old. Lets face it, other than a new printing job, the menus haven’t changed too much either. They are still offering deep fried treats and burgers, soft-serve ice cream, and fancy coffee drinks.

Truth be told, the Phoenix hasn’t really risen from the ashes so much as dusted itself off and made you a chili burger. Plus the place just feels kinda dirty. I can’t really explain why, it just does. Friendly as the service may be, it’s a little slow.

And between you and me, be sure to check your order before riding off into the sunset because they have a tendency to leave things out of the bag. I am glad to see that the carhops still proudly wear their change dispensers on their aprons. I’ve always wanted one of those change dispensers. I mean what kid hasn’t wanted one. They’re totally cool. Ahem, moving on.

Now, onto food. I was informed that the Phoenix offered a rare treat for this area and I had to see for myself. It turns out they do offer a foot long corndog even if it isn’t printed on the main menu, but instead on a white paper add-on menu. Nonetheless, foot long corndog here I come. This monster turned out to be fantastic, if you like corndogs, that is. This freshly battered and fried 12-inch tube steak is probably one of the best corndogs in town. Add a little mustard and you’re ready to go.

Another couple of delicious fried goodies that are freshly battered are the pickle chips and the okra. This little Ace up their sleeve got the Phoenix many points in my book because the fresh battering makes all the difference in the world. And you can taste it with every bite.

If you are in the mood to have your stomach burst and split apart from your duodenum subsequently causing your digestive juices to slowly eat your living guts, then I suggest you eat the entire Big Bubba Burger combo. Yes, it is just as huge as it sounds. Four, count them, four one third pound burger patties stacked high with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, pickles, onion rings, and mustard come wrapped around a giant buttery piece of Texas toast and sandwiched in between a sourdough bun. It is so big that they have to run a bamboo skewer through the burger and the box to keep the lid half closed. And it comes with a generous helping of (commercially made) crinkle cut fries. Even if you split this monster four ways it still manages to pull off being tasty. I am going to credit most of the deliciousness to the wonderful bun.

Overall the food at the Phoenix Drive-In isn’t that bad. That is if you don’t mind eating a gut bomb or if you don’t mind being stared at by weirdos while you wait for you food.

If you’ve been craving a good corndog, I suggest that you make a trip to try the Phoenix’s.

Until next week, good eating to you and yours.

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When he’s not beating his eggs, Adam makes time to respond to e-mails that get past his hard-ass spam filter. You can try to reach him at [email protected]

Adam also has this thing called Sandwich Control.