Adam & Eats: El Super Taco

Editor’s note: Adam Brandt is a graduate from the Cobra Kai School of Culinary Callousness, where he received their highest award, the Red Apron of Merciless Eating. Aside from eating and talking about eating, he makes pots, paintings, prints, books, photographs, and generally, a big mess. He has been the studio assistant at Mudpuppy Pottery for almost nine years and is attending a local university in a desperate attempt to earn a biology degree.

Sometimes life throws everything, but the kitchen sink, at you. In order to deal with this, some people go to the firing range and empty a clip of 9mms on a paper cutout of a bad guy.

Some people sneak off to the park and immerse themselves in a rood book. Other people, myself included, like to eat their troubles away. When things get really hectic, I go out hunting for something I lovingly call a “gut bomb.” Gut bombs are usually defined as something that is huge, heavy, cheap, and will typically give you heartburn. In the midst of tax season and midterms, there was only one thing that could carry me on a flying sombrero of love all the way to Spring Break: a giant burrito.

Located on Grand Avenue, between the Super Mercado and Pho Hoang, is the home of El Super Taco. The name alone, with all of its clever-and-straightforward-ness, tells you the place is awesome. There really isn’t too much to the location. It is a drive-thru. You pull up to the talking sign, place your order, pull up to the window, pay the lady, and receive your food.

Wait, why am I having to explain the concept of a drive-thru to you? Jeez. The other branches of El Super Taco are sit and eat affairs, but this particular one only accepts the drive-by or walk-in variety of customer. As you sit there in your car, waiting to tell the talking sign what you want to eat, be sure to cast your gaze to the right and take a gander at the full color, and albeit unflattering, sign with phrases like “Diet Breakers!” and “It’s Mulita Time!” on it. Brilliant.

Let’s get to the gut bombs, shall we? Probably one of the greatest of their wide variety of weapons of mass deliciousness is the carne asada fries. A styrofoam box, chockablock full of French fries, covered with fresh grilled steak, refried beans, guacamole, sour cream pico de gallo, and smothered with shredded cheese. This one dish manages to cover just about every flavor and texture range and still manages to be utterly scrumptious.

One of the other favorites, of people who typically like to do something other than nap after eating, is the carne asada supreme burrito. You should probably know beforehand, that this burrito could easily feed two people. They are massive. This particular burrito is stuffed with the steak that was mentioned a moment ago, as well as, guacamole, sour cream, pico de gallo, cheese, and lettuce. All of these fresh ingredients are wrapped in a flour tortilla the size of a pillow case, a pillow case that came right off of the bed of sinful yumminess.

I should warn you of something that is very, very important. Everything you order at El Super Taco comes with a little container of wonderfully spicy sauce (either red or green). If you should choose to pour the contents of said container of salsa into or onto your meal selection, this meal is no longer safe for consumption while in an automobile. That is, unless you really love wearing meal-time drippings all down the front of your outfit. The burritos are particularly dangerous in the drippy category. If you choose to eat one in your car, you should consider wearing one of those trash bag-esque parkas that are handed out to attendees of Gallagher shows. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

Overall, El Super Taco delivers consistently delicious, cheap, huge meals to the residents of the River Valley. So, if you are feeling the time change blues, why not stop off at your local El Super Taco and gorge yourself on a giant, drippy, wonderfully tasty treat?

Until next week, good eating.

Feedback
When he’s not beating his eggs, Adam makes time to respond to e-mails that get past his hard-ass spam filter. You can try to reach him at [email protected]

Adam also has this thing called Sandwich Control.