Adam & Eats: Brannon’s Pub & Grill

Editor’s note: Adam Brandt is a graduate from the Cobra Kai School of Culinary Callousness, where he received their highest award, the Red Apron of Merciless Eating. Aside from eating and talking about eating, he makes pots, paintings, prints, books, photographs, and generally, a big mess. He has been the studio assistant at Mudpuppy Pottery for almost nine years and is attending a local university in a desperate attempt to earn a biology degree.

I figured that since we ended the year on a sort of down note, that we should begin the New Year on a good one. That’s why I went digging through last year’s comments in search of a great idea for a burger. On April 2 of last year matt1524 suggested that Brannon’s has an awesome burger. Believe it or not, I read the comments and take your suggestions seriously. So matt1524, this one’s for you.

Located at the base of Fianna Hills, in what was once Greenlad’s, is Brannon’s Pub & Grill.

I’m not going to bury the lead about this, Brannon’s is a strange place. It is not strange in that gimmicky kind of way, though. It is strange in that you get asked for your ID as soon as you sit down at your table kind of way. You see, Brannon’s is a Pub. You have to be 21 to eat there. I took it as a kind of compliment to get carded when ordering an iced tea. It is like an indirect confirmation that I still look young.

The place has a real sense of nostalgia. Not the cheesy manufactured kind, but the real deal. For example, Brannon’s has smoking and non-smoking sections. How old-school is that? It is like watching a movie from the 80s and the characters go into a doctor’s office and the doctor lights a cigarette during the consultation. It is something that we can’t even imagine anymore. I’m not saying it is a good thing or a bad thing. I’m just saying that it is a strange sight these days. If you are in anyway superstitious, then the old adage about your food being delivered as soon as you light a smoke still holds true at Brannon’s.

Thinking back about matt1524’s comment, he never claimed that Brannon’s has the best burger in the River Valley, he just said that they have awesome burgers. I concur with this statement. I would go so far as to say that they are definitely in the top five best burgers in the area.

So far, the two burgers at Brannon’s I would consider to be the contenders for Best Burger would be the Blue Cheese Bacon burger and the California burger. Both have seriously big handmade patties on amazingly spongy buns. The buns are like a memory foam mattress (in a good way). When you set  your burger down, there are a few seconds of a beautiful hand print until the bun returns to its original shape. It is like a fleeting memory of a lover’s embrace.

What separates these two burgers from the rest of the pack is the choice of toppings. The BCB is topped with wonderfully caramelized sautéed onions and potent blue cheese crumbles. The flavor duo of the onions and the blue cheese is like the Wonder Twins activating in the form of deliciousness.

The Cali is a little more daring, in that it is topped with two thick slices of grilled turkey breast, avocado, and aioli. Whoever thought of topping an all-beef patty with grilled turkey breast is brilliant. The savory beef, the sweetness of the turkey, the buttery flavors of the avocado, and the POW! of the aioli meld together into a taste adventure in your mouth. But, a burger with no fries is blasphemous, so I would suggest getting the sweet potato fries (if you like sweet potatoes) and dipping them in honey. They are the perfect accessory for these meaty outfits.

Brannon’s is a place full of friendly, helpful staff, who are eager to take you on a trip down memory lane. What are you waiting for? Go already.

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When he’s not beating his eggs, Adam makes time to respond to e-mails that get past his hard-ass spam filter. You can try to reach him at [email protected]

Adam also has this thing called Sandwich Control.