The entrepreneur and family

Editor’s note: Michelle Stockman is an independent consultant with her company, Fort Smith-based Msaada Group. Stockman earned a bachelor’s degree from Loyola University-Chicago in communications and fine arts, and earned a master’s in entrepreneurship from Western Carolina University. Her thoughts on business success appear each week on The City Wire.

It is no secret that American families face many challenges, and the statistics show that marriages have a more than likely probability of not “making it.” The statistics show one out of two marriages will end in divorce. Inc Magazine recently ran a report that shows entrepreneurial families face an even larger number of family break-ups. The statistic grows when the wife within the marriage is the entrepreneur.

Having personally experienced the pressure of being a female entrepreneur, I also know firsthand the struggles of being an entrepreneur and wife. The day I began my first business, there was an instant tension within my marriage. Having started a business in a recession, the financial pressure of the start-up only added to the tension.

While a myriad of additional personal challenges entered into our lives in the same time period, my marriage eventually ended when the ex deciding the entrepreneurial spirit that oozes within me was too much for him.

Being an entrepreneur requires a commitment from both parties in the marriage as well as all the children (if children are involved). When the family doesn’t share the same commitment, passion and interest in the business, friction is going to occur. Resources that most families take for granted are critically important for the entrepreneurial family to manage. From time to finances, when spouses are not on the same page, the marriage and the business will suffer.

When one partner wants to go to dinner at a nice restaurant while the other would rather crawl into bed due to a demanding day, someone is going to forfeit their desires. When entrepreneurial partners are not on the same page regarding the business, then disappointment is waiting around the corner.

The same goes for the children. If Jr. is waiting for quality time with the entrepreneurial parent, but the quality comes in the form of waiting for them at the office, Jr. is bound to develop negative emotions about the business, the parent(s) and themselves.

Entrepreneurship is choppy seas seen before a hurricane, but the entrepreneur must find the tools to balance the work/life/business/family balance that often seems impossible. Working continuous weeks of 50, 60, 70+ hours a week will wear down even the strongest of wills. It will lead the entrepreneur to rely on the business for his/her sole focus and purpose. Instead, finding balance will allow the entrepreneur to not only enjoy and grow the business, but the family will not have to suffer for the cause.

Partners/spouses can unit for the common good of starting and growing a business. It is not easy (just multiply the challenges newlyweds face by 10), but a couple committed to the business who maintain a healthy balance between home life and business life will succeed.

In this past year, I have tasted that success. Starting and running a business is a challenge from every angle. Those who prepare will weather the storm.

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Stockman can be reached at [email protected]