Dear Santa:

Dear Santa:

Consider me back among those who believe. And, knowing that to return I must have once departed the faithful, forgive the years of not sharing in the Ho, Ho, Ho.

Not sure when it was that the belief faltered, but am figuring it was somewhere in the elementary grades when it became clear adults were full of reindeer poop. And then everybody up and elected Jimmy Carter as President and interest rates hit double digits and we had hostages in Iran and we didn’t go to the Olympics and Three Mile Island got warm and Skylab fell and Anita Bryant wouldn’t shut up and Bon Scott died and the Soviets invaded Afghanistan and the speed limit was cut to 55 miles per hour. That’s a lot for someone in their formative years to absorb without becoming cynical or numb. Now, I don’t blame all that on President Carter, but dad sure did.

Anyway, the point is that in a world where what was supposed to be real wasn’t, there was no room for Santa Claus, Easter Bunnies and television evangelists.

However, it seems that folks continue to believe in religion, political parties, celebrity activists, the Department of Homeland Security, Glenn Beck and that sumbitch Jerry Jones who said the Cowboys would be a Super Bowl contender this year.

So if folks can believe in all that AND that almost three years of unemployment benefits help people find jobs, or that eliminating earmarks will curtail federal spending in some meaningful way, or that marijuana is a drug more dangerous than nicotine or alcohol or that everything is on the up-and-up in college football, or that it’s OK to trade personal liberties for a promise of national security, then trusting in a fat man in a red suit who knows if I’ve been nice or naughty is an easy reach.

Now back in your corner, please accept the following as my Christmas wish list.

• Get me one of them jobs like the Arkansas Lottery Director, where I can “earn” $324,000 a year without being burdened by having to follow personnel and accounting rules of other government agencies.

• A big dose of self-esteem for my fellow citizens in Fort Smith. We tend to get too worked up when some media group or thinktank says something nice or not-so-nice about us. Just a few months ago, we got all excited when the folks at Kiplinger said we were the least expensive metro area in which to live. But cheap doesn’t mean good, and if our collective goal is to improve our regional economy by adding more jobs, creating a greater diversity of jobs and adding a larger mix of higher-paying jobs, we can’t do that and be a cheap place to live.

More recently, Portfolio.com pushed its list of the top 200 brainiest metro areas in the U.S. The list was mostly a simple math exercise in which the Portfolio folks multiplied the various levels of education with the corresponding future income expectation. The Fort Smith area placed 192 out of 200, behind Little Rock and Northwest Arkansas. Folks were telling me this survey reflected everything that is wrong with the metro area. Maybe so, but I’m not sure having a metro area full of college graduates is necessarily a good thing. Don’t get me wrong, Santa, we need more folks to attend college, but go ask an English major to build an addition to your workshop. Or see if you can get a political science major to work on your workshop’s heating unit. Better yet, get an economist to give you a straight answer on the price of toys in 2011.

Also, fostering creative and entrepreneurial talent, one might argue, is just as important as shoving folks into an assembly-line college system. Bill Gates, Walt Disney, Henry Ford, Michael Dell, the Wright Brothers and Frank Lloyd Wright never completed college.

The thing is, Santa, we have bright, capable and good people in the region who are capable of doing anything if they have the right direction and leadership. There is the Marshals Museum, retaining the 188th Fighter Wing and Regional Intermodal Transportation Authority as examples. So, if you could just help us to remember more often that honest self-awareness and responsible self-confidence are more important than what others think about us based on a narrow set of numbers.

• A big dose of perspective for my fellow citizens in Fort Smith. For example, most folks in this area are fiscal conservatives who firmly believe the federal government is too large and wasteful and needs to be smaller and live on less. But when the United States Postal Service — which lost something like $8 billion last year — talks about cutting branches or operations in Fort Smith, we lose our interest in smaller and more efficient government.

• It’s certainly a long shot, even for a guy like you who can zip up and down a chimney, but am hoping the Baldor Electric Co. culture will overtake the ABB folks and not the other way around.

• Speaking of long shots, would like to at least once attend a Fort Smith board of directors meeting during which a board member doesn’t say something so absurd that it makes me consider the advantages of a benevolent municipal dictator.

• Not sure if this is in your bag, but am hoping you can keep them fellas in AC/DC going for a few more records and a few more U.S. tours.

• And while you are here, the Tilley house has a roof vent turbine that needs replacing.

• One last thing. My friend Billy wants me to ask that you have the TSA agents who do the airport personal pat downs to be Hooters’ girls. He says he prefers brunettes, but admits he doesn’t always look up long enough to notice hair color.