Scene by Carson: Some Southern Culture for the holiday parties

Editor’s note: Amanda Carson recently graduated from Ole Miss where she wore a cocktail dress and high heels to football games at which tailgating was conducted in a tent adorned with a chandelier. Prior to this she attended a private school in Memphis at which Southern manners and etiquette was stressed — which does not explain her football game decisions. Anyway, Amanda will attempt to infuse her Southern experiences, exposure and education into the arts and entertainment scene in the Fort Smith/Van Buren region.

December is a time for hope and cheer, but it can also mean things that we dread like tacky yard décor, knock-down-drag-out shopping and holiday parties. Now, I’m not comparing holiday parties to knockin’ out some chick for the last Holiday Barbie or X-Box, but it can be a nerve wracking experience for some. Let’s cover a few pointers to help you keep your holiday finesse this season.

First off is attire; you always want to be holiday appropriate. There is the obvious; ladies, keep cleavage and thigh exposure to a minimum. Your objective is to be cheerful, not cheer up a co-workers spouse. Men, don’t let your wives wrangle you into a festive holiday sweater set, unless the invitation says “White Trash Christmas.” Be sure to not over dress either. You can never go wrong with business casual attire adorned with a festive scarf or holiday tie.

Should you bring a hostess gift? YES. I don’t know when this tradition got lost in translation, but it is always appropriate to bring a hostess gift. The type of gift is important as well. After you RSVP (and one should always RSVP, yes or no, to help the host or hostess prepare) be sure to ask if there is anything you can bring to help ease their burden. If they say no, they are lying; everyone loves the extra help or gift. If cooking is you’re forte, make something to show off your mad kitchen skills. If you lack the chef gene, bring a simple holiday gift like a bottle of wine, candle or ornament.

As a general rule of thumb, never be the first or last person to arrive or leave. Fifteen minutes to show time, I guarantee your hostess is running around frantic, taking dishes out of the oven with curlers in her hair, putting on panty-hose as she barks out orders to her husband. You don’t want to show up early to witness this, and she certainly doesn’t want you to, so honor the hostess’ dignity. It is good to arrive within the first 15 minutes. And just as you shouldn’t be too prompt, you never want to over stay your welcome. As you feel the party dying down swiftly make your exit.

When you arrive, be sure to mingle merrily. There is nothing worse than trying to make small chat with a party Grinch. Parties are a good time for others to see you out of work mode, being friendly and charming. If this is too hard for you then you honestly shouldn’t be in a profession that requires human contact.

If you are invited to a holiday party, then it is a given you are allowed to bring a guest, particularly your significant other. But, for heavens sake, if you have a companion that can’t hold their liquor or tongue, leave them on the couch at home! Remember, they will be a reflection on your image.

Okay, the next few points are fairly obvious, but it’s amazing how often they are forgotten.

• Clean up after yourself. Show that you weren’t raised in a barn, even if this is Arkansas.

• And if you see an empty cup, throw it away, even if it’s not yours (gasp, shocking concept, I know).

• Don’t be THAT person everyone is talking about next Monday. Yes, eggnog is a tasty holiday explosion in a glass (I’m the first to admit it), but your reputation will thank you if limit yourself to two or three glasses at most. Please drink reputationally.

• Never ever, ever double dip. Common sense, yes, but it never ceases to fail; you see that sweater-vest guy shadowing the table who didn’t get enough cocktail sauce on that tiny shrimp tail the first dunk. Hello? Heard of H1N1? Yeah, it’s goin’ around, folks. Plus, eeewwwww!

• Don’t horde around the food table, like buffalo at a watering hole. Get your appropriately sized hors d’oeuvres plate full of delicious samples and walk away.

• And lastly, a tip for the hostess. If you do get hostess gifts (as you should if people read this important article), please remember to write “Thank You” cards. For some insane reason, people think it’s OK to send an e-mail or not send anything at all. It is this kind of lazy thinking that is killing our culture. Please, do your part to save etiquette; take time and write the cards.

Keep these tips in mind and be the talk of the party in a reputation building way. Stay classy and away from trashy.

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Even though the graduated from Ole Miss, Amanda is comfortable using e-mail. You can reach her at [email protected]