Billy says …

Billy, an old college friend, has taken to renewing our past chats via e-mail. He’s found some measure of amusement watching us folks in the Fort Smith area debate and fuss and cuss and speechify about where we’ve been, where we are, where we’re going and who should be leading and who should be getting the hell out of the way.

Also, Billy says The City Wire will never make it unless it adds stories about hunting seasons, high school football and includes a weekly photo feature of a local Hooters girl.

Billy: Saw where the city and the county there is thinking about an almost $40 million plan to build a bunch of ball fields and trails and such. I’ll tell you right now that any plan that includes $4 million for trails and just half-a-million dollars for fishing tournament facilities is about as wrong as spittin’ on the Flag.

MT: That may be so, but the trail work is more extensive than the ramp and parking area for the fishing tournament. And anyway, those are just preliminary numbers intended to get the discussion started.

Billy: How come it is that you grew up in a small town in Johnson County and can argue that trails for city folks to walk their little yip-yap yuppy dogs is more important than a place to back a Ranger full of beer into the river and pull a Ranger full of bass out of the river? Don’t tell me you’ve turned into one of those metrosexuals with a GQ subscription and Obama sticker on your little rice burner? I bet you sold your truck for one of those little rice burner hybrids, didn’t you!? Lemme guess; I bet you jump into your little hybrid and buzz down to the liquor store to buy some fancy French chardonnay that you sip on while you watch one of them tear-jerker Barbara Walter specials.

MT: Nope. Still have the truck and have never had a GQ subscription. And I don’t drink sweet wine. As far as the trails thing, I was just trying to say … well, nevermind.

Billy: You were just trying to say you were wrong, that’s what you were trying to say. Just like in college, you still can’t fess up when you’ve messed up. Speaking of messed up, did I really read that you folks are thinking about a $20 million minor league baseball park on the riverfront?

MT: Yes, that’s part of the plan. The ball field could

Billy: Could be a big mistake! That’s what the ball field could be. Listen, I love me some baseball just as much as anybody, and I follow some of these minor league teams. Let me tell you, that’s a risky thing.

MT: How so?

Billy: These independent minor league conferences come and go like an Obama promise. You think you’re pretty smart, but I bet you don’t there have been 17 independent leagues start up and go belly up between 1994 and 2005. There are only eight of these independent leagues around, and two of them began in the past three years and may not make it past 2010.

MT: So, you’re trying to say $20 million for a minor league ballpark

Billy: I’m not trying to say anything. Look, these teams have to operate in bigger areas than Fort Smith. Them that play in smaller markets like Fort Smith usually start out sharing a ball field with a local college or high school or both.

MT: Then maybe we consider some type of arrangement with the University of Arkansas at Fort Smith or area high schools?

Billy: That might work, but you folks in Fort Smith need to know that these little minor league conferences that survive will be in the bigger cities with the bigger investments. Earlier this year the United Baseball League welcomed a Dallas team in after some rich folks there agreed to support a new 10,000-seat baseball stadium that is part of a big ass $500 million overall sports, shopping and entertainment area on the Trinity River between Dallas and Fort Worth. Them’s the kind of deals and leagues that will last.

MT: Well, Bennie Westphal owns this property and he and his family are worth a lot of money. Bennie says they’ve studied the market and talked to people interested in bringing a team to Fort Smith. He says the market will support a team.

Billy: Of course he does, because he wants the city to build a $20 million stadium in the middle of his property so he can make a killing off developing all that other land he’s got there on the riverfront. And that’s where you’re getting all this interest from them city directors. You don’t just ignore that kind of influence Bennie brings to the table.

MT: That’s unfair to the Westphal family. They’ve sunk a lot of time and money into the riverfront. Hell, the family gave up the land for the U.S. Marshals Museum. If I’m a city director and someone with a lot of money and connections says he can make this kind of deal work, I’d be a fool to not give it a look.

Billy: Maybe so, but all you folks is foolish if you jump into a $20 million baseball field without doing some serious By-God researching. It might work, but minor league teams have failed in bigger markets than Fort Smith. Now that don’t mean y’all are foolish for wanting to raise about $40 million to do things to spiffy up the place and bring people to town.

MT: It’s nice to know that Billy approves. And, yes, hopefully officials with the city of Fort Smith and Sebastian County can come together with a good plan that gets the best bang for our dollars.

Billy: That ain’t gonna happen.

MT: What ain’t going to happen?

Billy: Holy crap, Tilley, how much cash did your parents waste on your college degree?

MT: Huh?

Billy: Look, if you think these city and county folks are going to come up with the best possible plan, then you’re in for a big old disappointment. These local politicians and them bureaucrats are going to come up with a plan that makes the right group of folks happy, a plan that makes their friends and supporters keep patting them on the back. They’re going to come up with a plan they think they can sell to the public. But you wanna know what they’re going to spend little time considering?

MT: No, but I bet you’re about to tell me.

Billy: If you’re gonna spend $40 million or so, your plan better do two simple things. Firstly, and most important, the money better bring in the most possible folks to the area who are going to spend money eating, shopping and staying at hotels. Secondly, this little plan better come with a plan that covers your operations and maintenance costs for years to come. Y’all already screwed the pooch by mixing up the money and running short on that fancy convention center.

MT: And you don’t think the city or county officials are capable of

Billy: Hell no! You folks in Fort Smith and Sebastian County need to pull together a team of professional and successful business folks who will attack this here issue from a best-bang-for-the-buck approach. Let them meet privately for about six months, without all the little special interest groups who want to Me-too this thing to death. They can bring in the appropriate city or county folks for questions, but at the end of six months they come out with three or four proposals.

MT: Are you suggesting we remove public discussion from a possible decision to raise more than $40 million in taxes to fund various quality-of-place initiatives? Are you stoned?

Billy: No, dips%$t, I’m not suggesting we remove public discussion. But you folks talk stuff to death. Look, you let these business folks work on a plan from January to the end of June. They’ll crank out three or four financially feasible alternatives, and then the public can cuss and discuss them for 60 days. Come September, the proper authorities at the city and county can decide on what they’ll put up for a vote, and then you have a special election. This way you filter as much of the grab-bag politics out as possible.

MT: What you’re saying is that, with your plan, the public might be better assured the plan is financially sound rather than just some wish list compiled by politicians and bureaucrats.

Billy: Yep. It’s sort of what y’all did before sinking $200 million into your Lake Fort Smith expansion deal. That seemed to be a success. Why not do the same with a $40 million plan?

MT: Well, Billy, I hate to admit it, but you may have a point.

Billy: Of course I have a point. Speaking of good points, you know I’m right on that regular feature of a local Hooters girl. Right?

MT: See you next month Billy.