So Sad

If they ever prove the global-climate-change-warming-apocalypse-crisis is caused by humans, it’s likely one of the top 10 sources will be the electricity consumed by the office of U.S. Sen. Blanche Lincoln in crafting and sending out e-mail press releases, and in the electricity consumed by recipients of said e-mails when pressing the “Delete” option.

The Senior Overzealous Senator from the Arkansas Delta (SOSAD) issued a real sparkler of a press release a few days ago. By the end of the press release, I was on my jack-booted feet saluting the flag; the grand old flag of the union, you know, the flag with the hammer and sickle.

SOSAD was pleased that the Obama Administration was sticking it to them cuff-link wearing, lobster-munching meanies on Wall Street who are 200% responsible for all this upside down credit crisis thingie because they travel on corporate jets and buy expensive crappers.

Don’t take my word for it. Read it for yo-self.

WASHINGTON – After months of pushing for stricter limits on executive compensation, U.S. Senator Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark.) today said she was pleased the Obama Administration has set new rules for companies receiving taxpayer dollars through the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP).
 
“Since TARP’s creation, we’ve seen countless stories of huge pay packages, trips to lavish resorts, and other outrageous actions, all at the American taxpayer’s expense,” Lincoln said. “While America’s families and small businesses have suffered, the bailed out companies have rewarded themselves. It’s high time we put an end to this irresponsible behavior, and I’m glad we have a leader in the White House who agrees with me.   
 
“During the TARP debate last fall, I pushed for stricter limits on executive compensation, which went unheeded in the Bush Treasury Department’s implementation of the program. Also last year, I cosponsored legislation (S. 3693) that would have capped executive salaries at these bailed out banks.  In my meetings with Secretary Geithner prior to his confirmation, I pressed him on how he would be more accountable to the American people than his predecessor. President Obama promised a new era of accountability and transparency in government. The new Administration’s decision to enforce stricter limits on these bailed out companies is a refreshing start.”
 
President Obama and Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner today announced new rules regarding executive compensation for TARP-funded institutions. Under the new rules, annual salaries of senior executives for companies receiving large amounts of bailout money will be limited to $500,000 per year. Any additional compensation will be in restricted stock that will not vest until taxpayers have been paid back. Companies also will face tougher transparency rules on expenses such as office renovations, entertainment, conferences and events, and golden parachutes.”

Bailed out execs should face consequences? Really? What about Sen. Chris Dodd and Rep. Barney Frank? And Franklin Raines? Or what about the members of the esteemed U.S. Senate who approved the Paulson plan that gave, without accountability measures, billions of dollars to these alleged Wall Street pirates? I guess a “yes” vote by a U.S. Senator on a bailout package doesn’t carry much responsibility/accountability these days.

Let me get this straight … Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and Frank and Dodd and Congress played fast and loose with billions of taxpayer dollars for years, but I’m supposed to get upset over a $1.2 million office renovation or a global company that seeks to purchase a $30 million corporate jet?

David Copperfield would be tremendously awed by this political sleight of hand. Elmer Gantry would just smooth his hair back and stand in awe of the ultimate players in this national con game.

“Hey, American Taxpayer,” Members of Congress are saying, “don’t watch the trillions we’ve pissed away to ‘fix’ the economy, and this other trillion we’re about to piss away. Instead, keep your eye on the evil corporate executives who exercised poor judgment and misspent a few million dollars on fancy rugs and oak paneling.”

When did corporate jets become bad things? Please include me on the invitation list for the meeting in which SOSAD explains to the hundreds of Arkansans once employed by companies who manufacture corporate jets and their components that their former jobs were subsidized by evil corporate Darth Vader-types who had this craaaazzzzyyy notion that they might want an efficient way to keep tabs on their global operations.

Who wants to lay down a bet that the corporate jet industry has stimulated more jobs than the first $700 billion in bailout money? Me, me, oh, oh, oh, pick me!

If the national media could unass itself from the weight of trying to be popular with the powers-that-be, they might compare the annual spending, travel junkets and other perqs of Congressional office with the similar costs for the top 535 U.S. corporate execs. On second thought, the comparison would be faulty from the beginning, because even the worse schmuck of a corporate exec has at some point contributed to the creation of wealth and jobs in the economy.

Another question: Any chance we can get the same transparency on Congressional spending bills (or spending add-ons to omnibus bills) that SOSAD is demanding from the bad execs?

Granted, many of these Wall Street banker guys were/are real arrogant asses and exercised horrific judgment. But this populist demagoguery is wearing quite thin.

And the last I checked, horrific judgment is not a crime in what used to be a capitalist system. In fact, there was a time when horrific judgment was rewarded with something called getting fired, or a Chapter 11 or a Chapter 7, or some other legal means of liquidating/reorganizing assets, or finding you and your company irrelevant as the creative destruction of the marketplace marched on.

SOSAD is hoping we’ll be stupid enough to accept that bailed out execs should face consequences for bad decisions as long as those consequences can be prescribed by politicians (folks who often have never been involved in the creation of wealth or jobs or making payroll, etc.) rather than the normal market forces that regulate the millions of points of daily commercial exchange in a capitalist system. And no, that regulation is not perfect, but the marketplace is always a better arbiter of commerce than an overreaching federal government with different definitions of consequences for different tax brackets and/or industry sectors with better lobbyists/former Members of Congress.

Just when you think the pungent populism is fully populated, SOSAD notes, “the bailed out companies have rewarded themselves. It’s high time we put an end to this irresponsible behavior.” Unbelievable. The bailed out companies didn’t just walk into the Federal Treasury in the dead of night and illegally load their briefcases with cash. Nosirreee. It was Congress who opened the doors to the Federal Treasury and poured money out of it like they were pouring dirty water out of a boot. And for those keeping score at home, SOSAD helped elevate the boot to the pour position.

Funny thing is, SOSAD is right: It is high time we put an end to this irresponsible behavior. There are these things called elections, and they provide the American people a chance to pass an unstimulus bill that would, ideally, result in the loss of about 535 jobs.

Like e-mails, ballots also have the “Delete” option.