Business failure emotions run deep

Racing through the weave of interstates that connect Raleigh, N.C., to Chicago, nine years ago, I connected a year’s worth of loss and heartache. Meanwhile, my mind raced with the haunting Fleetwood Mac lyrics; “I took my love and I took it down. I climbed a mountain and I turned around. And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills. ‘Til the landslide brought me down … Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?”

Nine years ago, I was racing to spend the last Christmas with my mom. Her body had been seized by pancreatic cancer and her fight was coming to an end. In her six-month battle from the diagnosis, she had the strength of a warrior and fought the battle of Normandy on her own internally. Christmas was wonderful, followed by a ride home to Raleigh that was miserable. Moments after my parents returned to their new home in Bella Vista, Ark., mom returned to the hospital. Once her vitals were brought back, she went home under Hospice care, and I was running through airports to get to her side.

No words can describe the spirit and emotions that ran through my family and me as we stood by her bed as she slipped from this life to her eternal home. I did learn in the days, months and years following her death that you do survive from loss. The sun continues to rise and set, opportunities and closures will continue to knock at your door.

As painful as losing a loved one, closing a business (for the entrepreneur) can bring the same emotions and heartache. From the outside, people see a business and business owner as fortunate, someone who has it “all together” as well as someone who seems financially secure. However, that is often far from reality.

Entrepreneurial businesses are extremely vulnerable to volatile economies, changing markets, competitive industries and weak business planning. Start-up businesses hang by a financial thread as money is mostly scarce and the full range of expertise needed in the business is too expensive. Where advertising dollars become crisis management money and businesses struggle through the maze of government restrictions.

Sadly, not every business makes it through the start-up swamp. Truth of the matter, very few businesses survive past the 5 year mark. Even a giant, like Circuit City, once featured in “Good to Great” has fallen into our memories. Despite some of the best efforts to start, run, grow, grow, grow; businesses find themselves gasping each step of the way. Sometimes, the hard times are due to bad timing, not enough capital or not appealing to the market. Other times, the business struggles to bad leadership, outside factors happening in the owner’s life or unfortunate events that happen to even the most cautious business man or woman.

Nine years to the day after racing my way to Chicago, I was facing another season in my life with the business I had hopes of pulling out of the grave over two years ago. While my role was mostly friend and fool, I still believed and felt passion for the business. Every resource, idea and plan I could gather pushed my knowledge and abilities. However, I eventually realized what the business really needed, no one person would be able to provide. No one could have saved the Titanic and no one was going to save this business.

On Christmas Eve, I watched the dream take its last breathe. A flood of emotions hold your mind hostage as you replay each day to see what could have been better. You feel a terrible dread in your heart as you watch the employees leave forever. You also feel insecure about the future as the present time feels so bleak.

The maze of post closure activities are done by someone who would rather be crying in bed than throwing more salt into their wounds. The red tape and paper work is equally as challenging to weave through as starting the business. Complicating matters further, the financial situation the entrepreneur finds themselves in may bring further stress and uncertainty into their lives as personal bankruptcy may be lurking in the corner.

Closing a business is like losing a family member to the entrepreneur. It is the loss of a dream, a routine, a joy, a career, a financial future and more. The end result is a process not just the event of locking the doors for the last time. It is a gashing wound to one’s ego and an earthquake to their future.

While it takes time to heal from the personal emotions attached to closing a business, true entrepreneurs will rise up, learn and move forward.

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Stockman can be reached at [email protected]