I've been blindsided.
I did not see the series of disappointments and concerns coming my way. The daily dose of pain, confusion, and hurt that I've lived through every day since the end of January has been unbelievably difficult to endure.
Bad news, bad information, bad teeth, and bad timing all happening during bad weather eventually took the sunshine out of my soul. Sometimes life challenges can be just too much. I now know how an overwhelmingly bad season feels. It is hard to smile. It becomes hard to hold on to faith. It is hard to even exist.
Tough times started with an abscessed tooth while at MD Anderson with no pain pills. Unbelievable pain in my mouth continued for two weeks. Three root canal treatments with over ten shots finally has me on the road to dental recovery. During the two weeks of oral pain, there was confusion on the right course of cancer treatment. Fortunately, after a week of anxiety, it was decided that I needed to continue taking the drug that has kept me stable for a year.
And then the hits kept coming. Humana canceled my health insurance. Yes, thanks to the Affordable Care Act (ACA) they can cancel my health insurance.
Believe it or not, there is more tough stuff that I am working through.
The timing of so much bad and sad stuff has occurred while I'm also having so much fun with my daughter and my girlfriends producing Amanda's March wedding celebration. God has interesting timing. Amanda will be a beautiful bride. I'm so proud to be her Mom. The past twenty-seven years have flown by. Thankfully, we have had each other through thick and thin. Right now, she is giving me positive energy and purpose. I'm blessed.
People have prayed for me and encouraged me. Many people have jumped into the middle of my life determined to pull me through the darkness by showing me love and sharing their professional talents to help me out of the despair caused from having to make so many serious decisions all at once. God has sent His earthly angels to me. On their wings and through their wisdom, I am being lifted out of this tough tough time. Thank you Lord. Thank you friends and family.
Spring is around the corner. I choose to live believing sunshine will be completely restored to my life. I'm remain grateful and hopeful even in tough times.