I’m stable. So I’m told.
During my most recent visits to MD Anderson and Highlands Oncology Group, I was told that stable is a good thing. The previous two PET scans this year reported that the cancer was shrinking and even some of it was completely gone. I wanted to hear the same good news. I wanted to hear that I had won the battle and was cancer free. Instead I learned that the cancer is stable meaning the disease did not appear to be progressing.
Before I can get my happy hat on, I had wrap my head about the meaning of stable.
Here is what I discovered:
Stable the Adjective – not likely to change or fail; firmly established.
Medically Stable: in a good state or condition that is not easily changed or likely to change. Not getting worse or likely to get worse.
So okay, I feel better and even encouraged to learn that my medical condition is stable. Thinking about cancer, my future and how my diagnosis can affect people I love makes me a little mentally unstable at times. I admit it! My emotions go a little crazy from time to time. Then I cry. Then I suck it up, say something funny and continue to battle the fear of it all so that I can return to mental stability: sane and sensible; not easily upset or disturbed.
But really?? Who is always mentally stable cancer or no cancer? Kind of sounds like no fun and a little boring actually. Seriously though, when people are battling any life challenges, relationships, illness, or financial issues, or shopping on black Friday, I bet stable would be a welcomed state of mind. Unless they are crazy!
People are very important to me. I strive for stable relationships: secure, solid, strong, steady, firm, sure, steadfast, unwavering, unvarying, unfaltering, unfluctuating, established, abiding, durable, enduring, lasting, permanent, reliable, and dependable. Now we are talking!!! I am all about stable. Who wouldn’t want stable relationships with family, friends, and in the work place? Unless of course they really are crazy and thrive on drama.
So call me crazy at times but no matter what I remain stable and steady in purpose, firm in resolution. I will hold on to the peace that passes all understanding which is a gift to all mankind given by a baby born in a stable.
Merry Christmas and remember stable really is a good thing.