Prayed to Write a Book

Writing a book has been a dream I've had for years.

Lots of things kept me from getting started. Mainly, confidence that anyone would ever want to read my book. Then it hit me, I care more about the accomplishment of writing a book than if it is published and read. I admire authors. The time and devotion to pulling together words that turns out on pages in a book is an amazing talent that I always wanted to develop.

When my cancer reoccurred in the summer of 2012, I lifted up four prayers to God of things I would deeply wish to see happen before I died. I have recently written two blogs that reveled the blessing of two of the four prayers answered.  My daughter married a nice Christian man and my speaking ability has been showcased before an international audience. This blog reveals the motivation that finally pushed me to gain the third prayer answered by writing a book. Sample content is offered at the end of this blog.

I wanted to write but I just couldn't get started. Too many content ideas so many stories to tell. How was I going to pick one and get started? God heard my questions and motivated me in my sleep to get started.

Christmas morning 2013 – 3:30 am. I woke up crying. I felt like I had peed in my pajamas. What happened?! I had gone to bed happy. Something was going on in my subconscious.

The crying then turned to weeping … for four hours. I knew that some deep deep fear had invaded my soul. It was an indescribable feeling, as if my life would never be the same.  

What was I to do? Then it hit me. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Habit 2 – “Begin with the end in mind.”

My daughter Amanda, her fiancé Scott and I had just attended Christmas Eve service in the church that my daughter had recently rented for her upcoming wedding. It was so beautiful. As we walked up to the church that evening, I noticed that Edward’s funeral home was just across the street. On one corner of the street, Amanda would get married in a few weeks, and on the opposite corner – someday my lifeless body would be prepared for burial.

There it was, a beginning and an ending before my eyes on opposite corners. My ultimate death had been a subconsciously suppressed fact that was now in my face, tearing at my soul and leaving me weak and afraid.

After struggling emotionally all Christmas morning, I knew I must get away and get to the bottom of this emotion. That’s when I decided to dedicate a few days alone in the mountains with God and my laptop.

It was finally time to concentrate on the rest of my life, including the cancer journey I was facing and God’s true purpose for me with the end in mind. It became clear that it was past time for me to write my story.

Below is an excerpt of my now written unpublished book. It is one of the 50 short personal experience stories that provides helpful information about battling breast cancer while entertaining the reader.

I feel like my prayer to write a book is answered.

From Clueless to Creative
My Breast Cancer Adventure

By: Donna Patricia Redden Brown

I Was Clueless

In May 2005, I learned very quickly that I knew nothing about breast cancer.  I was clueless!  For 12 years, I had worked for the Make-A-Wish Foundation where I had been exposed to all the buzz words and had seen thousands of children in cancer treatment, but until it was me that was the cancer patient…I just had no clue. 

After I drifted through the 10 days of tests following my diagnosis and had my first chemotherapy treatment, I finally woke up to the reality that I was now my own project, and it would be up to me to organize the generous offers to help me.  At that moment, I picked up my first clue.

The most common question I received during the early days of my breast cancer diagnosis was, “What can I do to help?”  I was clueless!  Fear had a hold of my brain so I couldn’t even figure out how to answer the how to help question. 

Of course I knew I would probably need help, but it was not until began to take treatment did I gain a clue that the side effects that comes with the battle would create a need I could not foresee. It was only then that I started clueing in to just how much I would need in the way of HELP. 

I felt like I was hijacked on a journey to a destination unknown.  I was not in control.  Since I was an independent, can-do single mom that was totally not used to taking or receiving help, it was a challenge to let go and let others help me.

Opening myself up to love and assistance was step one for me.  Needing to create a comfortable way to communicate my need was the clue that launched my crazy creative thinking.  Here was my opportunity to turn fear into fun while helping others….which was the thing I was the most afraid of losing as I championed my breast cancer battle.  Helping others gives purpose to my battle.  Therefore, my personal breast cancer battle adventure began with purpose beyond myself.

My story isn't over and the book while written may not be finished.  Who knows someday it may get published?  But for now I feel like my prayer has been answered.  I'm happy!