Oh Holy Week

Palm Sunday began an unusual week of  in-my-face  reality checks.  I have cancer.  As the week progressed, I needed reassurance.

It was Sunday morning.  I just knew already.  I just felt it.  A sister breast cancer warrior had ended her battle.   She would hurt no more but her family and friends would be so sad.  I don’t want to make anyone sad – ever.  So the reality of our disease makes me sad because I can’t shield my loved ones from the pain of my possible untimely death.  I prayed for peace.

Death comes to all of us.  Battling a disease that we are told ends in death can also infect your emotions if you let it.  Cancer tries to steal moments of joy today and exchange it with fear and worry about tomorrow.  Daily, I fight cancer with a determination to live life to the fullest.  Cancer will not rob me of the life I was intended to enjoy today.  It isn’t my time – yet.

I moved through the rest of the week in a shadow of sadness.  No one noticed.  I am practiced at keeping my innermost thoughts and feelings to myself.  After all, I don’t want to make anyone unhappy.  But God knew.

Maundy Thursday, I went to Highlands Oncology Group for my monthly blood work, to get a shot and to see Dr. Beck. I deeply respect oncologists.  They work so hard to beat cancer to only have cancer win – sometimes.  They have a bitter sweet job.  The next patient seeing Dr. Beck after me got the good news that her breast cancer is in remission!  Thank the Lord for the gift of hope!

Sad news on Sunday to good news on Thursday for my sister breast cancer warriors caused me to wonder which way my path would go.  Little did I know that I was about to find out.

Friday night, little Miss Robin walked up to me to say hi at a Relay for Life event I attended as a cancer survivor speaker.  Ten years ago, I was a part of granting her Make-A-Wish.  Robin did not remember me but I remembered her story.  She and I had a long talk.  We shared "war" stories.  This young lady has been fighting cancer since she was three.  Robin has more courage and strength of character than anyone I know.  She told me about her near death experience.  She said God told her to go back that it wasn’t her time.  Robin shows the scars and physical effects from the years of treatment but her smile made her beautiful as she all but lectured me on her confidence that God had a plan for her life.  I was getting God’s message to me via an 18 year old.   He isn’t finished with me – yet.

Spending time with Robin renewed my hope, strength and joy.  I believe she was God's little messenger.  He knew I needed reassurance.  I got it!  Good Friday was GREAT! 

Easter Sunday was glorious.  I had joy overflowing as I celebrated the Christ’s victory over death.  I sang the hymns at church loud and proud.  Oh what a wonderful Holy week.  Tick Tock!