My New Year’s Resolution

I am giving up cancer!!  I am also going to get skinny, prepare more home cooked meals and talk less.  Okay, maybe not.

What can I realistically champion so that 2013 will be the best year ever?  Don’t we all ask that kind of question just before the dawn of a new year? 

As I face 2013 with the label of stage 4 breast cancer patient, here are a few other questions that keep rolling around in my head:

  • What will my next PET scan show? 
  • How much money do I need to budget for trips to be treated?
  • Will my health insurance premium go up?
  • Will I beat the odds and live beyond the 33 month average from diagnosis to death?
  • 15% of stage 4 breast cancer victims live 5 years or longer.  Am I going to be in that 15%?  Or will I go over the “cancer cliff”?

When the heavy questions jump to the fore front on my thinking, I deal with them responsibly.  Sometimes I feel a little anxiety but more than anything I pray for God’s will, wisdom and peace.  Then I turn inward to questions that I know will pour joy into my soul.  Questions like:

  • What can I do to be as healthy as possible…and have fun while doing it?
  • What can I do with this disease to make a difference?
  • How can I help others?
  • What do I want to check off on my bucket list?

A new year can be like getting a clean slate, a do over, a fresh start.  True enough it is a good time to make changes for the better.  Unfortunately, we humans are only in control of so much in our lives.  We can lose weight, get organized, or start a new hobby.  If you are a cancer patient, you can still do all those things as you drag the disease from one year into the next.

I would like to give up cancer as my new year’s resolution.  But that isn’t an option or is it?  I pray unceasingly to be healed.  I don’t look or feel sick but instead am blessed with life abundantly. So even though 2012 will be the year that my “cancer came back," it will also be the year that I grew closer to The Lord, connected with old friends and made a ton of new ones.  2012 wasn’t all bad.  

So what will 2013 bring?  Who really knows?  But when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, you can count on me to first being grateful for my wonderful life.  Then I will square my shoulders to face a future I believe still offers promise and excitement even in the midst of fussing over cancer issues.  I will continue to be resolute in my commitment to combating cancer while having as much fun as possible … one precious day at a time – Tick Tock!